visualizing a new earth
disclaimer: i’ve been ruminating on these thoughts long before covid-19, although now i’ve incorporated current events into these thoughts. i am not advocating for rich and/or city people to leave the cities to move to rural areas and help destroy them by making them over-populated and/or bringing disease there.
Photo by Imat Bagja Gumilar
for years i’ve been meaning to meditate more, connect more to source, etc. i have a connection but it was always up to me to foster, deepen, and trust that connection. i’ve done a lot of work in the realm of self-healing. to be more specific, this journey began when i was 16, but truly and consciously since 2013. i have never felt the call more than now to get serious with these abilities. many times, frazzled, i’ve declared, “i need to meditate more!” as i’ve continued a lifestyle that is not conducive to what i know is best for me. out of fear and the hope for ravaging success, i’ve continued to live in a fast-paced, capitalist-driven environment and work myself to the bone just to make rent. i was convinced that if i just buckled down and worked hard, it would come… that’s how people get what they want! right? but i’ve been at a crossroads for a few years now… hesitant of which direction to move in, so i’ve continued to remain in what seems to be what i want, even though i feel the calling for a life outside of all of what we are told to desire. i am trapped in the dichotomy of the two lives i want and can’t choose between. i’ve dabbled in too many different things, never sticking to just one.
but i wanted this, right? i’ve wanted to live in a “cool” city like NYC or LA (i’ve lived in both) and wanted to succeed in the industries that are mostly tied to these places whether that be publishing, film, marketing, and so on. no matter the rent amount, i wanted this. but for the last year, i’ve been contemplating a lot more about what my soul truly wants… because i think my desires might be evolving. maybe so have yours. maybe they align perfectly with the current events that are happening globally right now.
side note: i mentioned to my partner the other day that what i’ve wanted would have been easily feasible once upon a time, but that the world is changing and we must adapt, and maybe what i’ve always wanted might not even be possible in the near future. or maybe it’s simply not what i’m destined for in this lifetime. i simply don’t know yet, hence the call to meditate more. what i do know is that i’m being very much called to go inward, to continue the self-healing work i’ve been doing. but there is more to do. it truly is time to get disciplined.
i started writing my novel at the end of 2019, and without giving too much away (because it’s still a tiny seed), i think it’s going to be focused around two women who propel humanity forward. when i realized how much that might link to what’s happening now… things became a bit more clear.
when i visualize new earth, i see so much more green than i physically see now. maybe this will just be a new location for me, but i also think globally there will be a lot more green, and a lot less city. i do love cities, so much, but i know they can be restructured to be more eco-friendly and less industrial. it’s always been hard for me to decide where i want to live because i love cities, beaches, mountains… that’s why i love California so much. it has all of the above, even deserts! which are my least favorite, but don’t tell the succulents that… because i do love them.
something i’ve learned again recently is that humans are the keepers of Earth. we aren’t just here to enjoy it, we are meant to take care of it. this might sound obvious but hang with me here. we are meant to plant trees, foster plants… there is a reason caring for animals and plants feels so good for many of us. it’s tending to the earth. it’s what we are here for. we are spirits in human bodies. we are guests here. everything else is extra — whether it’s fun or not. most things are not necessity, which is not to shame what we enjoy, but to cherish it, and honor the earth for her gifts to us.
somewhere down the road, things changed… many of us have evolved into machines (just watch a conservative/conspiracy-washed news anchor… yikes). we have been so shamed into or falsely gassed up into the hustle and bustle that part of me still feels ‘bad’ for wanting to build a home and tend to it. for wanting a house with land so that i can tend to, plants and animals and children, and my own food. like it has to be one or the other. between the many obstacles i’ve faced and learning myself more and more, i know corporate life isn’t for me. i know i am meant to work in other ways, and i think many, if not all of us, are. we can still do what we love without those models… old models that don’t serve us individually or humanity as a whole.
my intention is not to dismiss the suffering that current events is causing. it’s heartbreaking to witness. i meditate in my gratitude every day now. despite my own challenges, i am aware of my privileges as well. this time is not always going to be easy, or simple, and many are hurting… my biggest hope is this propels us forward in real, tangibly changed ways. count your blessings as much as possible. connect to your heart space–which, by the way, is green.
it’s not wrong to crave a different way of living. to crave a more natural world in our tech-bombarded and rushed way of life. this capitalist world wasn’t made in our favor, even though it’s been sold to us that way. it’s not wrong to want to leave the city. maybe we just have to finally give ourselves permission to choose differently. maybe that’s step one to eroding what we know isn’t working for us collectively and in very big ways. some of us have kept ourselves so tied up to corporate and capitalist ways of living. some of us haven’t had a choice. this moment in time certainly feels like the beginning of the end of a collective tower moment. a collective releasing of that which does not serve us (hasn’t spiritual-internet been telling us to release that which does not serve us for years now? i have a theory it may have all been leading up to this), and i pray for our collective flourishing, and i pray for justice where it’s deserved, because i see what’s on the other side… and it is glorious.
The Creatrix and Editor in Chief of Pussy Magic, sam is a writer/editor originally from Northern California. Her work in and outside of writing revolves around the merging of spirituality and authentic well-being to foster community, raw self-expression, and holistic healing to honor our sacred selves: mind, body, and spirit.
sam is the author of L’ACQUA (2017), a poet, and the columnist of sacred wild exile at Pussy Magic. Her writing has been featured in ILY Mag, The IN Magazine, The Vagina Zine, Tiny Flames Press, Occulum, Rose Quartz Magazine, and more, with a poem forthcoming in Blood Orange.
sam offers Sacred Serpent Writing + Healing sessions to bring people more intimacy with themselves and their writing which you can find more info about on her website. She currently resides in Los Angeles with her partner and plant babies.
Find more about sam, her writing, and her offerings on her website and follow her #soulbits on Instagram.