Valentine

Click through to the playlist!

It’s the month of love, kittens! Instead of sharing my favorite love songs this month, I wanted to take a slightly different approach and be a little vulnerable with you all.

I have joked about having a lump of coal for a heart and how I believe less and less in love these days, but the truth is I have an insane wall built around my heart. Over time and a few heartbreaks, I found myself not sharing my heart with people as much as I did before. I always thought I’d be married now, even with a kid or two, and I think people close to me thought that would be my life, too. I am so grateful for having been surrounded by loving relationships growing up but I think not witnessing relationships end had an opposite effect on me. So when I was in a long term relationship that was truly unbearable and abusive, I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t successful, where I went wrong, as if everything that went wrong in the relationship was all my fault. Heartbreaks happen, and they are sometimes the best lessons learned. In my mind though, it made me feel like a failure. So from then on, I always proceeded with extreme caution in new relationships which then obviously led to more failure. 

But then... I listen to music, and I can feel that wall begin to crack. There are just some certain compositions and certain lyrics that help pull myself out of that mindset, especially songs that are about the uneasiness of love at first. I start to think, wow, this is what love is supposed to sound like. Why wouldn’t I want to pursue that? Why am I hiding from it? I started to think about the music that makes me feel vulnerable but hopeful with my heart and made the following playlist.

This month’s mix has, of course, 14 songs about abandoning the darkness that surrounds your heart and taking the big love leap. I normally would share some information about each track and the reason I chose each one, but each song has a special take on starting a new relationship. Some songs are ambitious and grandiose, some are witty, some are sultry, and some are even just absolute masterpieces. Music is my love language and sometimes just solely listening to a playlist is the best way to receive my message. 

Even after all the pain, losing trust, and emotional turmoil, love is an extremely good thing. Whether or not you have a partner this February, dive into these songs that will make you feel hopeful and grateful for what is about to come (or what has already happened, for the lovebirds out there!) Happy Valentine’s Day, kittens!