petty pruned plain

petty pruned plain

how torturous it is to be still
sometimes

to be filled up
and begging for more
(when the womb is dying)
all expectant and graped
and waiting.

slow, slow, molasses,
(you've never tasted
so you'll never know)

you're a slug hiding where it shouldn't be,
a snail that's misplaced its home

there's a warmth and it's spreading but it doesn't know
it only knows the sweet call of more—
the world is your oyster
(is your aphrodisiac).

the mantle, the hearth,
something soft, something secret,
in the core of the home
there are seeds/there is magma,
and you never know which one to pull
or which one will spit up and spill over
if you'll gestate or boil
or if you'll take to the water and swim 'till you're dry.

•

singularity

i hum to my    lodestone&
it awakens      my bones
the growth      in my belly
holds-             is held
and i am         existential
undressed       unavoidable
amorous         yearning-
whole body    yawning open
gravity            pouring in &
amassing        more than you
could ever      think to
swallow          yourself

•

infertility

love does not want this body 
this statue 
of a woman with a missing arm
and a hollow stomach, cold 
boneless 
mine . 

i was given a gift 
they said, 
so they opened my gift 
and made me carry
it without a word . 
i stuck a needle in 
my arm to kill 
it where it grew, yelling: 
this body 
is mine and 
this 
love does not want a body ! 

but they took 
my arm, 
pulled it away
and cut it loose, 
set it on the ground
at my feet
b/c it was my choice 
they said, 
my choice 

and things again could grow 

so i pumped myself full 
of formaldehyde 
and painted myself grey, 
lit the bomb
in my belly 
and laughed, 
because it was my choice, 
my choice 
mine . 

their love 
says 
something 
is missing 

their 
love does not want a body 
without another 
kicking inside 

but 
their love is not my love . 

my love does not need a body 
any b o d y 
to be love(d) .

---

Alexis Diano Sikorski is a queer Filipina-American dog mom floating around DFW, Texas, and all she wants is a really good massage. She has work in Honey & Lime, The Hunger, TERSE., Burning House Press, The Collapsar, Moonchild Magazine, and more. She's a bit melodramatic, reads way too much fanfiction, and likes looking out of airplane windows. You can find her daydreaming or caring for her plants. @Sikorskidear